Go stick yourself!

I have never weed on so many little bits of cardboard in all of my life! It seems to be all you do, all through the month once you have made the decision to try for a baby. There are sticks to wee on to check when you are not ovulating, sticks to wee on to check when you are about to ovulate and sticks to wee on to check when you are at peak fertility and are ovulating! And then there is only about a weeks respite before you’re weeing on sticks to check if you might be pregnant!

I realise that you don’t HAVE to do all this and excessive stick weeing is not compulsory – but my slightly obsessive/over organised personality means that I couldn’t do anything but. We had planned to start ‘trying’ / stop trying not to get pregnant as soon as we were married – and so what better opportunity to start than on our honeymoon! I nipped to Boots and bought myself a Clearblue digital ovulation kit (gobsmacked at the price…!) and packed it away in the suitcase. Every morning, I weed on the stick, waiting to see the ‘smiley face’ that means you are able to ovulate and should go at it like rabbits for the next couple of days. Typically, the day the smiley face came along, so did a bout of holiday tummy and sex was the last thing on my mind. Anyway – we made an effort for a few days after the smiley face (wow this all sounds so romantic!) and hoped for the best.

I had bought a load of those cheap pregnancy tests that detect the pregnancy hormone before you have missed your period. Everyone came back negative. Even though I pretty much knew it wouldn’t have worked, I was still really disappointed – only to be confirmed by the arrival of my period. I hadn’t thought that I would feel like that after one month of trying. Every single one of my friends have got pregnant within one or two months of trying – so I feel some sort of nervous pressure I guess. I realise that this is not the norm and it can take quite a while – and am fully prepared for this – but I guess there is just always a hope that it will happen quickly when it's your turn.

So... after another few weeks of weeing on sticks and the arrival of another ovulation confirming smiley face… my husband trapped a nerve in his shoulder! Not a good start. We did "our best" (again, so romantic!) and now I’m playing the waiting game. I have now moved on to analysing the way I feel every single day – convincing myself that my boobs hurt (when actually it’s just muscle strain from lifting boxes), thinking I have gone off coffee (when actually the weather is too warm to make me want to drink it) and thinking I’m tired all the time (no change to normal!). I’m going to try not to obsess so much, NOT do the whole stick thing and just wait for my period/no period.  Patience is a virtue….